They'd stare at me with eager eyes,
waiting and wanting and wishing to hear
their futures far which I could tell.
For I knew and I saw
what others could not.
A gift? No, a curse,
which I could not fight.
And though some envied me for it
I only felt captive,
used,
and alone.
I never wanted to know -
but I was possessed,
owned by something else,
longing to be free.
It spoke what I did not want to speak,
It told me what I did not ask,
It haunted me both night and day
till I thought I'd go mad -
or was I already?
And then I saw them,
bearers of good news,
and felt Its fear,
for It knew (and so did I)
that my help was near.
nd day by day I followed them
and so did It
and It shouted out
the truth It could not bear,
and yet the truth that all should hear -
And I knew then:
they would use me
like all the others did
who saw not me
but the demon enslaving me,
who wanted Its knowledge
but cared nothing for me.
Why should they let
this precious gift go -
so precious to them, such torture to me?
I had nothing left
but despair
and Its foul cackling laughter.
But they were different.
With Your eyes, they saw me,
with Your ears, they heard me,
with Your heart, they cared
for more than my divinations.
They freed me with Your power,
and I am set free.
And now I walk unchained,
free to walk the path You did,
free to speak out of my heart
of all the love You showed to me.
The puppet master's lost Its power:
to You, my Father, I belong now,
a child, not a slave,
loved, not controlled,
free,
so free,
and finally
LOVED.
__________________________________________________
[January 2012]
One thing I noticed when I read this passage again was: this girl was good advertisement for the Gospel, wasn't she? She was calling out that Paul and Silas were bringing good news, that they were sent by God. So, why not use that gift? It struck me how Paul and Silas cast out the evil spirit even though it could have been useful to them. I wondered why. So I wrote this poem.
Picture by Pieter de With.
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