It is a strange feeling,
this power over men
- and I'm drunk with it.
I love it
how a single look
a single touch
a single word
can set them crawling at my feet
like worms.
I love it
being irresistible
dangerous
seductive,
turning them into grovelling dogs,
puppets.
It is a strange feeling,
this power over men
- and I'm drunk with it.
But what happens
when one says NO,
won't take the bait,
and runs away?
When my power fails,
abandons me?
Then I'm just a girl,
desperate for attention,
yearning for true love,
weak behind my mighty mask,
hiding my fears
beneath the blankets.
Lost,
so lost,
and so alone.
NO.
I will hide it,
put my mask on again,
make myself drunk with power,
and
lie.
____________________________________________________________
[December 2011]
Some time ago I realised for the first time how powerful we women can be - and how good that can feel! It's pretty dangerous. And I can imagine it can be a way we try to hide from ourselves our problems and weaknesses.
I think what we need to see first is that it's not the right solution. If I have self-esteem issues, or really need attention, then hiding it by temporarily feeling a bit powerful is not going to help. Problems are overcome when we face them, when we admit them, when we bring them before Jesus who can heal them. Because His love is real and permanent.
Another thing I think we need to see is that women who "sleep around" and look for men's attention all the time are not "evil", but people with needs which maybe they're trying to fill the wrong way. We should remember this before judging, and instead of putting them down as "bad people" give them the love they're looking for in the wrong places.
Picture by Carlo Cignani.
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